Transitions
A Different Kind of Grieving
For many, this year will mark a year of transitions. Transitions such as relocation, kids graduating, new positions at work, some things ending while others are beginning, parents moving in, kids moving out, adult children moving in, aging parents transitioning to assisted living or memory care, ministry involvement ending or changing, and many more.
Some of these transitions are welcomed and wonderful while others are more challenging and painful. These transitions often take us by surprise emotionally. When there is a death we are ready for the grieving process, whether we choose to engage with it or not. With a transition, especially one that is “all good," the feelings of loss around it take us by surprise. I have several friends experiencing transitions this year and some in multiple areas of their lives.
Listen to the story of your own life. As you do, listen for significant moments of transition in your life. Examine your situation through the lens of loss and invite yourself to a different kind of grieving.
Here are four ways to engage with loss that is a death of a different kind:
Acknowledge the loss. Even in a happy transition, there is something lost. What is it? Name it, say it.
Process how you feel about the transition. Without using the words, “It's okay” or “It’s all good," how do you really feel about it? How has your life or routine changed with the transition? How has it affected your life, your work, your home? Talk with a trusted friend, counselor, or life coach, and journal how you feel. May I say that again? Talk with a trusted friend or coach.
Make necessary adjustments. Transitions require us to reorient to a new normal. What are the necessary adjustments you need to make to your routine, your life, and your schedule? Has the transition caused you to question your faith? Are there adjustments you need to make for your own spiritual formation?
Pray. Allow the Holy Spirit access to your pain through an ongoing dialogue with the One who knows you best! There are words of help and healing He wants to speak over you. There are words of truth and encouragement He wants to speak to you. Talk to your Father. He loves you, He is for you, He is with you, He will never leave you or reject you. He sees you and knows the pain of your loss, He will help you.
If you are experiencing loss today for any reason, I am so sorry for your pain. I am praying for you right now that the God of all comfort would surround you with His peace and His presence and that He will speak a word to your spirit today that brings healing and hope.
If you are tangled up in your emotions around loss or transitions (even the good kind) - Julia and I can help! Please reach out to us at www.yourbluestone.com and schedule a consultation.
Written by Kaye Hurta