Life After Loss
Your Two Best Next Steps
This world makes grievers of us all.
We have shattered hopes and dreams, and we have buried people we love. Every year brings new losses, disappointments, and pain. For the losses you are grieving - I am so sorry for the pain of your loss.
Grieving is a process.
It is complicated.
If loss happened in a vacuum it would be difficult enough but it doesn’t. Loss occurs in the middle of life which is already messy, painful, and complicated at times. It rarely makes an appointment and seems to know the worst time to enter through the door of daily living. Loss can and often does occur in a multi-layered fashion.
For example, I am grieving several losses in my life all at one time. I am grieving the loss of loved ones (which is ongoing), loss in relationships, and loss of hopes and dreams at home and at church. I have learned and am learning the importance of being curious and kind with myself and all my “feels”. I have learned and am learning the value of offering myself grace and space. Grace when I’m feeling overwhelmed and have to leave things undone and space for my body, soul, and spirit to rest and refresh.
If you are grieving a loss or multiple losses or if you are walking with someone who is, here are the two best “next steps” to offer yourself or someone else:
1. Self Care.
Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give yourself in a season of grief. There are several aspects to consider around self-care.
Rest. Your entire being needs this! Grieving is exhausting. Plan for more breaks in your day on every level, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Exercise. There is no better remedy for stress (and sadness) than to take a walk. If all you can do is walk to the end of the driveway and back - do it! Start where you are, but please start!
Nutrition. What you eat affects how you feel. Eat clean, make healthy choices, avoid “escape” foods such as sugar, alcohol, and carbs.
Water. Not only is grief exhausting to your system, it also dehydrates. Drink more water than normal.
Tend to your soul and spirit. Do what helps you connect with God and stay connected to yourself. Consider prayer, podcasts, worship music, journaling, reading, enjoying nature, or meditation.
The second best next step is:
2. Support.
Grief is too heavy to carry alone. In fact, when it comes to support, the more the merrier. No one person can help you carry the weight of your loss alone, we all need to draw from a deep well of support to help us through the grieving process. Consider the following:
Talk. Tell your story. Identify the friends in your life who might be willing to listen. Spread out the weight of your story among many.
Find a small group. Many churches offer a grief support group or other small groups, find one near you and GO.
Find a counselor or life coach - like Blue Stone! Grief is complicated. The emotions surrounding grief can be complicated. Those emotions can trigger past loss, trauma, and family-of-origin issues. I highly recommend gifting yourself at least 1 session with someone trained to hear your story and offer help. I would love to hear your story!
Self-care and support are the two best next steps to consider when you are grieving or helping someone through the process. As always, if there are concerns for your safety, please contact a medical professional, the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255), or call 911. Additionally, most hospitals provide a free behavioral health assessment to identify the severity of your symptoms. Please reach out for help. You matter, you are loved, and you are not alone. I pray that the God of all comfort would pour Himself out over you today and that He would bind up your broken heart as only He can do. In the name of Jesus, Amen!
Warmly,
Kaye
Written by Kaye Hurta