Contentment
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines contentment as, “the quality or state of being contented”. Okay, what is it to be contented? Again, Miriam-Webster defines contented as, “Feeling or showing satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation”.
Our current culture has a curious way of pursuing and defining contentment. We are being taught by our culture that contentment in life is the result of satisfying your every desire. If you have the right home, the right job, good relationships, abundant finances, good health, or the perfect body, then you are content. Conversely, we learn that if we are in a hard, difficult season or a season of pain and suffering then we cannot be content.
I believe it is possible to be content regardless of our marital status, the number of our likes or followers, regardless of our financial status, our GPA, our weight, or whether we are in a cubicle or the C-Suite.
The truth is, contentment is not a result of our circumstances. The Apostle Paul wrote, “I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself. I know both how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content — whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13, CSB, emphasis added)
If we are reading Paul’s words accurately then contentment must be learned, it is not automatic or natural. As we learn from reading other writings of Paul, it is clear that God teaches us contentment through life’s circumstances with the hope that we learn to depend on Him and the power of the Holy Spirit. And sometimes those life circumstances are painful and difficult. This is counter-cultural.
Nestled in the Philippians passage is something of a rhythm. Can you hear it? It’s like inhaling and exhaling. I know both how to make do with little (inhale), and I know how to make do with a lot (exhale). Paul has learned the secret of how to live in the rhythm of contentment and Paul knew a thing or two about suffering and pain.
Could it be that the many sufferings Paul endured allowed him to experience contentment over the simplest of things? Could it be that the sufferings you are experiencing right now are trials of training - or the “how we learn” to be content?
If Paul learned to be content in difficulty, we can too. Here are some ways to lean into a rhythm of contentment.
Adjust your perspective. In the Philippians passage, Paul says, “I have learned to be content”. (emphasis mine) Contentment is not a result of circumstances but of a certain way of living, It is a daily choosing to view our circumstances through the lens of a loving Father and leaning in to His strength to do so. Adjusting our perspective is an intentional choice, we won’t drift into it. No, it’s not easy. It is a daily surrender, a learned skill.
Trade hidden expectations for realistic expectations. We set ourselves up for discontent when we pin our hopes on hidden or unrealistic expectations. When I married my husband Chris (35 years ago!), I had a hidden expectation that he would know my every need, meet every desire of my soul and satisfy my every desire. While he is a wonderful man my expectations for him were totally unrealistic. I was sorely disappointed until I learned to trade my hidden expectations for more realistic ones. Expectations must be based on truth and the truth is, only God can fully know me and meet my every need.
Cultivate gratitude for less than perfect things and situations. Scripture speaks repeatedly about having an attitude of gratitude and its benefits to our souls. If this is challenging for you, you are not alone. Consider starting a gratitude journal and at at the end of each day, jot down something you are thankful for. It sounds corny, but it really does work.
Finally, give your life fully to the only Person who can satisfy your soul. Who is that? Jesus. I love what the prophet Isaiah wrote in chapter 55:1-2 (CSB), “Come, everyone who is thirsty, come to the water; and you without silver, come, buy, and eat! Come buy wine and milk without silver and without cost! Why do you spend silver on what is not food, and your wages on what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to me, and eat what is good, and you will enjoy the choicest of foods.” Doesn’t that sound like a promise of contentment?
Have you been striving to be content in an area of your life and struggling? You are not alone. Even as I write I am learning to practice the rhythm of contentment in a particular area of my own life. It isn’t easy, but it is doable. One thing I know, it is a daily surrender.
I am learning to trust the Storyteller of my life and trust the story He is writing with it. Some of those chapters are painful as they may be for you, but He is trustworthy. Surround yourself with people who you can safely share your story with and who will pray for you. Practice enjoying the Presence of God by taking a few minutes each day to be quiet and still. In that stillness, pay attention to your breathing, inhale and exhale and within the rhythm of your breathing, surrender the things that are hard and receive His grace, peace, and contentment.
Written by Kaye Hurta