The Dark Side of Busy

Being busy is revered in our culture. You may have heard the saying, “If you want something to get done ask a busy person to do it.” Busy people are . . . busy. 

In addition to our normal version of busy, the holidays seem to take it up several notches, and I’m not sure if you’ve looked at the calendar recently, but we are fast approaching the holidays! The nights aren’t so “silent” and our to-do and Christmas lists look like a twisted version of the 12 Days of Christmas. 

What could possibly be wrong with being busy? Nothing if busy is reflective of a healthy work ethic and your calendar also contains some white space or margin. However, for many, this is not the case. Busy has a harmful, dark side. It has become a legal addiction.

As we enter Q4 (quarter 4) and look ahead to Q1, let’s take some time to reflect on our calendars and ask ourselves some hard questions. For your consideration, here are two primary ways busy shows its dark side and some questions to ponder.

Avoidance. 

Do you stay busy to avoid conflict or hard conversations at home? Let’s call that relational avoidance. Do you stay busy to avoid not feeling something painful, or to not think about something personally difficult or convicting? Do you stay busy to avoid facing the changes that need to be made on a personal level? If you are using busy to numb yourself in any way, then it is a legal addiction and while it is popular, it is not healthy.

Approval. 

Does your busyness define you? Is it the source of your identity? Do you find your worth and value in how busy you are or appear to be to others? Are you using it to seek man’s approval over God’s approval? 

If after careful review you realize that your version of busyness is actually harming you and the ones you love, may I encourage you to be courageous with your calendar and take the necessary steps to ruthlessly eliminate busyness from your life? 

Perhaps the first step is to ask forgiveness from those you have hurt by being too busy to engage, invest, and connect. 

Secondly, give your calendar a margin makeover. By that I mean, schedule your days with enough margin to connect with God, yourself, and the ones you love. 

Women are hurting - you may be hurting - because they (you) are too busy. Women are being hurt by spouses and friends who are too busy. If you are mentoring a younger woman, please address this with her. Use these questions as conversation starters and challenge her to develop patterns and practices that reflect balance. And since leaders go first, how would you answer these questions? 

I am praying that we will all take time before this year ends and a new one begins to breathe and ask ourselves hard questions, good questions, and challenging questions. 

Let’s commit our best, whole, healthiest selves to 2024!

Written by Kaye Hurta